Auburn University: Bama's Little Brother Since 1893
Alexander Theroux once said, "Hypocrisy is the essence of snobbery, but all snobbery is about the problem of belonging". Auburn should really consider adding this quote to their beloved creed because it defines them. Never has an athletic program tried so hard to mirror their rival more than the university of auburn. Earlier today, Bama's prodigal little brother announced that auburn athletic officials are considering recognizing as many as 7 additional national championships.
This may come as a complete shock as I'm typically opposed to anything positive taking place down in west Georgia... But dear 8 lb 6 oz newborn baby Jesus, PLEASE DO THIS WAR EAGLES! I'm totally serious. I fully support this proposal. Because for as long as I can remember, countless auburn fans have been annoying the hell out of our fanbase with the same tired diatribe. I know. There's just so many... So to avoid confusion, I'm referring to the one about Bama's 'mythical' national championships. Oh, they revel in telling Bammers how auburn would NEVER stoop to such levels. "Auburn just wouldn't do something so tasteless". Somebody should've probably taken the time to tell Mr. Jacobs (whom I've long contended is a secret REC member) that before he proved yet again that auburn is in fact, Alabama's little brother. Jacobs told Matthews, “We’re so competitive. We compare ourselves to other schools. If they’re counting something that we’re not counting, and we’re on equal footing, wouldn’t it be wise to count it?". Translation: Big brother did it so dammit, we can too!!!! Sigh... I swear so much sanctimonious bullshit rolls out of Lee County that even President Obama is shaking his head.
Of course, I don't think this latest turn of events surprises anyone. They have always measured their success by trying to keep up with Alabama. In the weeks leading up to the BCS National Championship, a thread on auburn's most popular sports message board, The Bunker, posed the question, "Would you trade the Iron Bowl win for a national championship?". Countless people vehemently said they wouldn't even think of it. "There's no better feeling than beating them bammers". This mentality is why they will forever & always be our little brother. Alabama's goal is to win championships. Auburn's goal is to beat Alabama. Of course when you've only experienced winning one in your lifetime, the goal of winning a championship probably does seem pretty ridiculous.
The auburn fambly works diligently to debunk their 'little brother' image. They're notorious for their skewed stats. How many times have you heard, "auburn has a winning record against Alabama in the past 20 years when we have a criminal quarterback & we don't suck"? But today's announcement is just another example that they have a serious inferiority complex. That's why they hate us so much. The reason anyone has that much hatred for someone is because down deep inside, they really want to be them. That's why they criticize our fight song, citing it every time they go on one of their rants about Bama having the most classless fanbase in the history of the universe. Yet what do they sing every time they beat us? In true little brother fashion, they sing Rammer Jammer. That's why they make fun of us for "worshiping a lying, cheating, dead drunk", then they turn right around and worship a lying, cheating, live drunk. At least Bear never lost his pants. That's why they rolled their eyes in disgust when Mal Moore unveiled our Walk of Champions only to put 3 of their own statues outside stadium a short time later. And finally, that's why they call our Athletic Program cheaters then go pay $180,000 for a quarterback.
But let's be realistic. The odds of seeing an auburn fan sporting a houndstooth fedora are far better than anyone of them ever admitting their true status. They've strived so hard to become a legitimate program & have admittedly had some success. After all, they beat us this year not only knocking us out of but punching their own ticket to Pasadena (on a side note, that still pisses me off). But even then, the media spotlight was on the Alabama program. Let that sink in for a moment... The Worldwide Leader In Sports cared more about Saban's future than auburn playing in the last championship game of the BCS era. So Bama brethren, don't be upset or surprised when you see auburn fans sporting shirts like this very soon:
My mama always said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Yes, it can get annoying that they're always attempting to replicate our program. Trust me, I completely understand. But don't let it get you down. It's just what little brothers do....
Thanks for stopping by, y'all!!! Roll Tide!!! War Damn Lil Brother!!!
This may come as a complete shock as I'm typically opposed to anything positive taking place down in west Georgia... But dear 8 lb 6 oz newborn baby Jesus, PLEASE DO THIS WAR EAGLES! I'm totally serious. I fully support this proposal. Because for as long as I can remember, countless auburn fans have been annoying the hell out of our fanbase with the same tired diatribe. I know. There's just so many... So to avoid confusion, I'm referring to the one about Bama's 'mythical' national championships. Oh, they revel in telling Bammers how auburn would NEVER stoop to such levels. "Auburn just wouldn't do something so tasteless". Somebody should've probably taken the time to tell Mr. Jacobs (whom I've long contended is a secret REC member) that before he proved yet again that auburn is in fact, Alabama's little brother. Jacobs told Matthews, “We’re so competitive. We compare ourselves to other schools. If they’re counting something that we’re not counting, and we’re on equal footing, wouldn’t it be wise to count it?". Translation: Big brother did it so dammit, we can too!!!! Sigh... I swear so much sanctimonious bullshit rolls out of Lee County that even President Obama is shaking his head.
Of course, I don't think this latest turn of events surprises anyone. They have always measured their success by trying to keep up with Alabama. In the weeks leading up to the BCS National Championship, a thread on auburn's most popular sports message board, The Bunker, posed the question, "Would you trade the Iron Bowl win for a national championship?". Countless people vehemently said they wouldn't even think of it. "There's no better feeling than beating them bammers". This mentality is why they will forever & always be our little brother. Alabama's goal is to win championships. Auburn's goal is to beat Alabama. Of course when you've only experienced winning one in your lifetime, the goal of winning a championship probably does seem pretty ridiculous.
The auburn fambly works diligently to debunk their 'little brother' image. They're notorious for their skewed stats. How many times have you heard, "auburn has a winning record against Alabama in the past 20 years when we have a criminal quarterback & we don't suck"? But today's announcement is just another example that they have a serious inferiority complex. That's why they hate us so much. The reason anyone has that much hatred for someone is because down deep inside, they really want to be them. That's why they criticize our fight song, citing it every time they go on one of their rants about Bama having the most classless fanbase in the history of the universe. Yet what do they sing every time they beat us? In true little brother fashion, they sing Rammer Jammer. That's why they make fun of us for "worshiping a lying, cheating, dead drunk", then they turn right around and worship a lying, cheating, live drunk. At least Bear never lost his pants. That's why they rolled their eyes in disgust when Mal Moore unveiled our Walk of Champions only to put 3 of their own statues outside stadium a short time later. And finally, that's why they call our Athletic Program cheaters then go pay $180,000 for a quarterback.
But let's be realistic. The odds of seeing an auburn fan sporting a houndstooth fedora are far better than anyone of them ever admitting their true status. They've strived so hard to become a legitimate program & have admittedly had some success. After all, they beat us this year not only knocking us out of but punching their own ticket to Pasadena (on a side note, that still pisses me off). But even then, the media spotlight was on the Alabama program. Let that sink in for a moment... The Worldwide Leader In Sports cared more about Saban's future than auburn playing in the last championship game of the BCS era. So Bama brethren, don't be upset or surprised when you see auburn fans sporting shirts like this very soon:
My mama always said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Yes, it can get annoying that they're always attempting to replicate our program. Trust me, I completely understand. But don't let it get you down. It's just what little brothers do....
Thanks for stopping by, y'all!!! Roll Tide!!! War Damn Lil Brother!!!
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